Building the Batmobile. The Batcave in this sense is the ultimate Dad's Garage Fantasy.
I was never a big fan of DC Comic superheroes but felt a certain affinity for Batman because he was an ordinary human being and the “World’s Greatest Detective.” His first appearance, in fact, was in Detective Comics #27. Unlike Superman—a nearly omnipotent alien who could fly-- Batman had to work out in the gym and got around in a car.
The first incarnation of the Batmobile was nothing more than an ordinary red sedan. What was that all about?
Next came the classic black model with the huge fin in back and batmask over the grille. Resembling the huge boat-like cars of the era, this Batmobile was also crazy long and aerodynamic, which gave it a sort of Flash Gordon spaceship vibe. There were dozens of variations on this design over the years but you get the idea.
For my money, the REAL Batmobile made its debut in the 1960s television show starring Adam West. George Barris, custom car designer par excellence, had just three weeks to create the Batmobile in time, which he based on a Ford concept car called the Futura.
The only Batmobile that matters
With its muscle car touches, siren, bubble domes, and atomic turbine engine exhaust, the Batmobile was like a cross between a sports car, spaceship, and fighter jet--all the things boys dream of driving/flying in one sleek futuristic package. The best part was the kick ass arsenal of batgadgetry such as on-board computer, radar, twin parachutes (to make the 180 degree Bat Turn), cannons, battering ram, and circular saw that flipped out of the front.
Atomic batteries to power. Turbines to speed!
Batman’s costume also fit the show’s camp attitude: a mask with drawn on eyebrows and some sort of nylon stretchy unitard.
Although my sixth grade goal was to become Spiderman, I gave up after numerous botched chemistry experiments to make a suitable web-like substance. So I decided Batman was more feasible. I set about building a working replica of the Batmobile using a lawn mower engine and spare parts. Let's just say I never found the appropriate spare parts. I also tried to construct my own Batcave in my friend's backyard. We found a secluded area where no one could see us and for two days we dug with shovels until we hit utility lines and were busted by his mother and the guys from the electric company.
Proudly displaying my Corgi car model of the Barris Batmoble.
I finally had the opportunity to see the Batmobile at C2E2 last year (that's a comic book convention). I'm not gonna lie: I started welling up. Then someone said it was a replica and I gathered my senses. Still.
Predictably, Tim Burton re-imagined the Batmobile as a frightful Gothic sedan (clearly echoing the original comic book version) with state-of-the-art gadgetry. I liked this car on film but it isn’t something you could realistically imagine yourself driving.
This could also work as the Edward Scissorhandsmobile.
Batman’s costume, too, received similar Goth treatment with molded body armor and the notorious codpiece.
The biggest Batmobile travesty was Joel Schumachers' version in Batman Returns. Whimsical and wrong in every way, this Batmobile is so fruity it almost looks like a heel worn by a transvestite stripper or something Gene Wilder would have driven in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory.
Are you joking me right now?
This brings us to this ridiculous Batmobile from the Dark Knight series called the Tumbler. The Tumbler? Does that sound Batman-like to you? The Tumbler was an expected development mirroring the increasing militarization of the Batman character in Christopher Nolan’s films. I appreciate that Nolan restored the dignity and seriousness to the franchise, but Hollywood always has to up the ante. This vehicle obviously owes more to the Humvee and Abram's tanks than any sort of millionaire playboy’s classic car.
Here’s the thing, people.
I get that it’s unrealistic for our contemporary sense of onscreen battle to have a nylon-clad Batman driving around unprotected in a convertible like the one from the Adam West series. But Batman, after all, is a fictional comic book character. The whole premise is absurd and one man obviously can’t kick everyone’s ass so why does he need to rely on actual military weapons to prevail? If we’re trying to stay true to life we might as well give him that concussion suit from Hurt Locker and put a group of paramilitary Bat Commandos at his side.
Locking him inside an armored suit and car for me had a sort of nullifying effect; rather than make him look contemporary tough, it made him seem more vulnerable and afraid.
Badass bon vivants like Bruce Wayne and James Bond don’t wear Kevlar vests.
Long live the REAL Batmobile.
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