Sunday, February 28, 2010

Get Me Off This Crazy Thing

Believe it or not, I've gotten into more than one debate over the historicity of Noah's Ark.

good luck with that.

Perhaps there is some truth to the tale. It's seems pointless to argue but I can't help myself. Sorry-- there's no way Noah managed to get a pair of every kind on a wooden ark no matter how large. 

We couldn't do it today, either.

Where did he round up American Bison? Koala Bears? Baboon? What about endemic species - unique creatures defined to a single geographic location? Let's not forget insects. There are some 900,000 species, and I'm pretty sure Noah wasn't an Entomologist that would know where or how to find them. 

What about carnivorous animals? Tigers eat meat--so to feed a single tiger (let alone the others) would have required at least 400 pounds of meat for 40 days on board. Bigger problem: when the animals left the ark, there wouldn't have been any prey for them to eat.

Let's talk climate control on the ark. Polar Bears, anyone? Was there a refrigeration unit for cold-blooded animals and a humidifier for reptiles?


Setting aside the innumerable difficulties of Noah's Ark, it is interesting to imagine what might happen if an apocalyptic calamity struck today. 

Let's say we needed to evacuate every living person. Let's say we've got the ships built.

To put the world’s population in some perspective, imagine Michigan Stadium -- the largest in the U.S.--filled to capacity. That's about 100,000 people. Now picture ten of these stadiums filled to capacity. That's one million people.

We would need to fill thirty stadiums to get Los Angeles on board. It would require ten thousand stadiums to hold one billion people, so we need 60,000 Michigan Stadiums to get everybody inside. If we could manage to fill one 100,000-seat spaceship every hour, it would still require seven years at this pace to get everyone aboard!  
 
Here's the rub: after we've loaded the ships for a year, BAM! another 86 million people are born.


Bag it. 


I'm staying here and watching the fireworks.

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